AAF Wisdom

– BLOG –

The Dichotomy Of Weighted Relationships

by | Sep 15, 2022

Last Friday I learned from a gentleman in our AMBITIOUS AF community that his WIFE had 48 hours to live. Today, I spent the morning reading her obituary.

I was told she wrote it herself.

Reading an obituary tends to have a profound effect on the living; the richest literature for mortal reflection, in my opinion.

What do you say to a man in extraordinary pain who has lost the love of his life?

I could not fix it.

I could not bring her back.

I could not make this husband’s world better.

I could do nothing.


Today I am reminded of the singular importance of human relationships…

And the dichotomy of a weighted life and identity that is under threat.

It’s the inflection point of our weighted relationships that carry both a magisterial force…

And other times, is no more and no less than two people enjoined together…

As one faces death.

Today, my AMBITIOUS AF COMMUNITY, this is my message to those suffering, for any reason:

Decide to keep going…

To carry on, in pursuit of your best life…

To carry on for those you care deeply for who are still living…

To carry on for the diagnosed whose mortal time is limited…

To carry on for the memory of those who have passed on…


Because it’s your OBLIGATION.

And while I’m grabbing you by the shoulders today, here’s a timely throat punch message for all of you:

Your time on this earth is limited.

When you understand this concept, time becomes more valuable.

The main reason most people never get their shit together is because they have no sense of urgency.

Because they don’t value their time.

And they spend the majority of their life in a hamster wheel pointing fingers at their circumstances.

These people are nearly always miserable.

They add little to no value in society.

They take zero personal responsibility for anything.

And in the end, nobody ever remembers these people.

Like they never existed.

You have been given a gift today.

The gift of perspective.

That perspective is URGENCY.


If you want to change something about yourself then start RIGHT NOW.


And don’t stop.

Don’t like your job?

Don’t like your financial situation?

Don’t like your living arrangements?

Eliminate the idea of “who’s fault is it…”

Instead, extend the amount of energy you put into chasing personal excellence.

Including weekends, holidays, and vacations.

And do the real work that makes you feel like an outsider in your own skin.

Because this is your only life…

And it’s ending one minute at a time.

P.S. A piece of WIFE’s obituary:
“HUSBAND would like everyone to know that WIFE asked him on their first date to the Alpha Phi Function. They were married on June 21, 1986. HUSBAND would like to remind everyone that he carried WIFE out of the church that day. WIFE would like everyone to know that he actually carried her throughout their marriage, not just on their wedding day.”

May you continue to rest in power. 💙

Erin Whitehead Logo

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