AAF Wisdom

– BLOG –

Losing Is Supposed To Suck

by | Mar 24, 2023

I’m at my daughter’s soccer game this weekend and I CANNOT smell the winning in the air.

Instead I hear coaches trying to rally their teams with the “just do your best” mentality.

It’s as though they want these kids to avoid understanding what losing feels like.

Losing is supposed to suck.

It’s supposed to hurt.

It’s supposed to make you frustrated.

But above all else, it’s supposed to help you evaluate your plan and execution so you can make the iterations necessary to win long term.

I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve lost.

It’s far too many times to keep track, trust me.

But none of the great shit I’ve been able to accomplish in my life would have ever been possible without my losses.

I truly believe that the value of losing is greatly underappreciated…

Especially in today’s society.

Our youth is raised to believe that as long as they show up…

They’re going to win.

But the REAL world doesn’t give anybody a fucking trophy just for participating.

The real world deals in wins and losses.


If you want the trophy (the career, the bank account, the relationship, the lifestyle)…

You have to fucking WIN.

Imagine being taught anything else.

It doesn’t make any sense.

I won’t stand for it and neither should you.

When you remove losing…

You remove the lesson.

When you remove the lesson…

You remove the opportunity to improve.

When you remove the opportunity to improve…

You remove the skills it actually takes to win.

Shouldn’t we be teaching the next generation to be gracious in their defeat?

Shouldn’t we be teaching the next generation how to extract the lessons from their losses?

Shouldn’t we be teaching the next generation that if they want to win, they have to become undeniably great?

Like it or not…

It’s the right thing to do.

Losing will teach you a lot more about winning than winning ever will.

With fire and love,



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